Jacob King

Briefs

Elon Musk Declares Himself “Techno-Emperor of the Universe”

Written by: Jacob King

Elon Musk Declares Himself “Techno-Emperor of the Universe” Musk made the announcement on Twitter this morning, where he also said that he has “already been forcing …

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Amidst Recession Fears, U.S. Federal Reserve Adopts New Monetary Policy of “Get Your Money Up”

Written by: Jacob King

“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Julia Wong After two quarters of negative economic growth and …

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The U.S. to Start Broadcasting All Court Proceedings Following Popularity of Heard-Depp Trial

Written by: Jacob King

One attorney concluded, “I rest my case, just like I rest on this MyPillow.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last Tuesday, the White House announced a new executive …

Briefs

27 Best New Products to Buy In 2022

Written by: Jacob King

27 Best New Products to Buy In 2022 In a hurry? Need to buy a gift for a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband? Got a special …

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Is it Ever Okay – Estranged Father

Written by: Jacob King

Every time my child brings up his estranged father, I take him to McDonald’s to distract him. Am I a horrible person?— FAST FOOD FRANKIE Well, …

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Chicago Restaurant Review – Gordon Crunch’s Honest-to-God American Brunch

Written by: Jacob King

The second you walk into Gordon’s Crunch Honest-to-God American Brunch, you are introduced to a version of America as beautiful and fake as Disneyland. For just …

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Chicago Restaurant Review – Swampy’s

Written by: Jacob King

Deep down south in the streets of East Chicago is a restaurant known to the locals as Swampy’s. It’s located in Chicago’s largest pothole, where rain …

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Joe Rogan Defends Controversial Interview with the Devil

Written by: Jacob King

After hearing a comment from Satan, Joe Rogan said, “Hey Jamie, can you pull a clip up of that guy burning in Hell?”Photo by Julia Wong …