Sharon Roth

Sharon was “born” in 1801. She inspired the Archie Comics, which later inspired the hit TV show Riverdale.

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Scientist Evolves to Eat Microplastics, Becomes World’s First Human 3D Printer

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“Life in plastic — it’s fantastic,” said Dr. Gabriel Barbecue.Photo by James Woolley Last month, Dr. Gabriel Barbecue checked himself into the hospital after experiencing severe …

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Susan Bagel: Bread

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When I dream, I dream of my grandmother’s fruit bread. Every winter, she made enough loaves to feed a small village, and we feasted on the …

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Study Reveals That It Can’t Get Worse

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A research paper published in the Journal of Poor Judgement and Indecision sparked hope in the scientific community after claiming that “it cannot get worse from …

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Cells Have Feelings, Too

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You are made of cells. On the most fundamental level, everything is made of cells — the plants you forget to water, the mold growing on …

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SHEIN Starts Selling Clothing Made of Antimatter

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Order tracking has become complicated, as the post office cannot provide both the shipping address and delivery date.Photo by Amit Roth Fast-fashion retailer SHEIN, famous for …

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Pirate Parrots Display “Matey Dance”

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“Ahoy,” chirped the parrot, who then declined to give any further comment.Photo By Julia Wong Dr. Perry Keates, ornithologist, has spent the last 15 years studying …

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Suburban Lawn Care Association Mandates Biodiversity Training

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Michaels declared, “Finally, the reign of grass is clover!”Photo by Sharon Roth Burt Lopez, co-chair of the La Jolla Lawn Care Association and owner of the …

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Susan Bagel: Meringue

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I hate goodbyes. I hate letting go. It’s not in my nature to give up, but I can’t be strong all the time.  I buried my …

Briefs

Chemist Discovers First Base

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A UCSD chemistry lab shocked the scientific community when Erick Menten, a third-year chemistry major, synthesized a compound with unusual physiological effects. Menten first believed the …

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Yeast of Eden

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BY SUSAN BAGEL Time is always in flux around me. I blink and hours pass. It’s not until I hear the car door slam closed as …