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Study Reveals That It Can’t Get Worse
A research paper published in the Journal of Poor Judgement and Indecision sparked hope in the scientific community after claiming that “it cannot get worse from …
Philosophy Student Mistakes Thought for Mind-Blowing Epiphany
Michael of Temecula recently took his Minions out to dinner, only to complain, “This is the last supper! You guys cost way too much money.”Photo By …
Man Horrified to Find That He Now Operates Under Looney Tunes Physics
Man Horrified to Find That He Now Operates Under Looney Tunes Physics “My life is neither looney nor tuney,” said Hanky Human, a local insurance salesman. …
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Top Ten Ways to Avoid Zoom Calls
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Zoom Calls Become a vampire and claim the host never invited you Cultivate an image of yourself as a person who …
A Reflection on the Past Decade Shows That Things Really Are Improving
With the year of optometry rapidly approaching, many of you are reminiscing on the past decade and wondering what will happen next. Some of you, in …
Headless Horseman Accepted into UCSD, Considered “Perfect Fit” for Campus
The Headless Horseman reportedly felt stress at one point in his life, but “just got over it.”Photo by Jack Yang In a move one anonymous source …
Lab Students Upset That Wearing Lab Coats Does Not Improve Midterm Scores
“But they emphasized PPE so much during lecture!” said Kartashev.Photo by Jack Yang This past Monday UCSD was “filled with shouts of incredulity and misery” as …
