Nadia Marigold
There Are No Third Spaces Anymore! vs Get A Second Job, Dumbass!
Point: There Are No Third Spaces Anymore! The third space — a place that isn’t work or home — is a nearly extinct presence in modern …
Woman Holds Auditions to Find Valentine
“Is this an entry level relationship?” asked one recent graduate.Photo by Farhad Taporevala Hope Lise, a 28-year-old San Diego local, announced on social media that she …
Santa Requests Protein Shake Instead of Milk and Cookies
“I heard reindeer meat is protein-rich,” said Claus. His reindeer could not be reached for comment. In a recent press release from the North Pole, Santa Claus announced that, instead of the traditional…
Jack ‘O Lantern to Retire, Replaced by Daughter Jill
“Save the snowflakes for Christmas,” said Dick Johnson.Photo by Amit Roth After 50 years of service, Jackson O’Hannigan Lanternson — or Jack ‘O Lantern, as he …
American English Makes More Sense Than British English vs. BRITANNIA FOREVER
Point: American English Makes More Sense Than British English Well gee golly, I’m so sorry to be causing a fuss, but I feel it must be …
I’ll Never Find Love and Neither Will You vs. I’ve Already Found Love but You Just Can’t Meet Her Cuz She Lives in Canada
POINT: I’ll Never Find Love and Neither Will You At the ripe old age of 20, I’ve lived, I’ve laughed… so when will I find love?! …
TSA Agent Fired for Being ‘Too Nice’
Transportation Security Administration employee Ray Sun-Shyne was fired from Orlando International Airport (MCO) on account of “not behaving according to TSA values and in the TSA …
I Walked from Warren to Muir and Ended up in Tijuana
This campus is huge and incredibly confusing to navigate. I’m a first-year student, and nobody told me just how bad it would be when I was …
I Bet I Could Do Olympic Gymnastics if I Really, Really Wanted To
Another year goes by and another round of Olympic Games has come and gone, and all these damn kids online keep raving about these damn Olympic …
UCSD Student Discovers Arts Majors
After reading UC San Diego’s tentative funding plan for the 2024–2025 academic year, Biochemistry major Beaker Labson was “floored” to learn about UCSD’s numerous renowned art …
