“Is this an entry level relationship?” asked one recent graduate.
Photo by Farhad Taporevala
Hope Lise, a 28-year-old San Diego local, announced on social media that she will be holding an “open casting call” to play the role of her boyfriend this upcoming Valentine’s Day. The posting reads that Lise is looking for someone to “go to one (1) restaurant for dinner, hold hands and walk along the beach, with 50–60 photos taken at each location.” Applicants will be compensated with a photograph of Lise to use as their lockscreen at family gatherings and “one call to family/friends” to “prove [they] really have a girlfriend.”
“I’ve just been single for way too long, and I’m over it!” exclaimed Lise. “ALL my friends are taken and are al- ways posting these sickeningly sweet photos on their social media, taking all the attention away from me! So I decided to take matters into my own hands.” The job posting further explains that, if selected for the position, “Valentines will be considered for the return offer for other important, Instagrammable holidays, such as Christmas, Halloween, and National Boyfriend Day.”
Lise advertised the offer on her personal social media, multiple dating apps, and networking sites Linkedin and Indeed. The posting requires auditioners to submit a headshot, resume, two let- ters of recommendation, and one photo of their shadow to be used for a “soft launch” on Lise’s Instagram on Febru- ary 10. She has received 393 applicants thus far.
Brock L’meson waited in line for three hours for the audition. When asked his motivation, he stated, “My mom has given up on me getting a girlfriend, so if I get this gig, it’ll prove to her I’m lovable!” Another anonymous auditioner reasoned, “This is still a better chance than I have on Hinge.”
After her post went viral, Lise has faced criticism for her strategy. “So superficial,” said commenter Diana Stoop. “This new generation does not know real love. They should be meeting people the old-fashioned way, waiting aimlessly at your local bar for a dashing young chap to buy you a drink.” In response, Lise replied that this was not an attempt to find love, but an attempt to find a Valentine for the year. “I just need to prove to my 512 followers — especially that bitch Rachel from high school — that I am not single.”
If selected to proceed past the initial screening phase, auditioners are given five minutes to present a pitch for why they are a suitable Valentine for Lise as well as an opportunity to perform a “romantic gesture” to “sweep Lise off her feet.” They are evaluated on the strength of their pitch, “cuteness” of their gesture, and, above all, “how well they photograph for possible Instagram posts.”
Recent theatre graduates auditioned for the role despite the lack of monetary reward, allegedly for the online exposure.
super ultra cool gurl
