Briefs

Briefs

Australia Loses War to Emus Again

Written by: Dylan Towner

The Australian military has reported that their second crusade against the emus has failed. Following their defeat at the hands of the birds in the 1932 …

Briefs

Red Angels Drum Corps Raises Member Fees

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

For the fifth year in a row, the Red Angels Drum Corps has raised its member fees, this time to a record-setting $11,283 for the 2024 …

Briefs

San Diego Named Least Expensive City to Live in the U.S.

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

Following a rapid decline in rent prices, San Diego fell off of the U.S. News & World Report’s list of most expensive places to live in …

Briefs

Chuck E. Cheese Denies Five Nights at Freddy’s Connection after ABduction

Written by: Michael McCarthy

Last Friday evening, a child was reported missing after attending a birthday party at the Pasadena Chuck E. Cheese location. Following the Pasadena Police Department’s report …

Briefs

Student Sealed Away, Shredded, Thrown Into Ocean

Written by: Katie Campbell

Following a controversial Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament at a San Diego game store, UC San Diego student Keto Saiba was accused of using banned cards in his Exodia …

Briefs

Local Man Buys Clown Shoes,Insists He is “Not A Clown”

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski and Dylan Jaide White

Self-described “human adult man” Robert “Bobo” Honkson has once again denied accusations that he is a clown. Recent evidence submitted to San Diego courts was described …

Briefs

Personal Carbon Electrolyzers May Solve Climate Crisis

Written by: Amit Roth

From the makers of the Veritas 800 Marine 30 lubricant comes Chevron’s Carbon Electrolyzer, a machine able to “cleanly break down” CO2. “We have compacted our …

Briefs

Inedible Arrangements CEO Becomes World’s First Trillionaire

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Inedible Arrangements CEO Honey Dew became the world’s first trillionaire after her flower startup’s stock became the most traded stock in NASDAQ history. The stock’s meteoric …

Briefs

UCSD Offers First Quantitative Sheep Studies Course

Written by: Everett Ririe

This quarter, UC San Diego began offering BAA 1: Quantitative Sheep Studies, a course to educate students on numerical methods for sheep counting. However, after only …

Briefs

Elon Musk’s Baby Name List Leaked

Written by: James Woolley

A recent wave of phishing attacks targeting X users has resulted in hundreds of thousands of mobile devices being compromised. Anti-phishing investigations speculate the hackers’ motivations …