Briefs
Student Awaits Punishment for “Bathroom Grinding”
Controversy arose on campus when word spread that Itsara Chen, a third-year business major, was in the Catalyst Hall bathroom stall while on a Zoom call …
China Claims Balloon originated from “Large Birthday Party”
Last weekend, the United States military shot down a balloon suspected to be part of a Chinese espionage operation. When the balloon was first discovered over …
Scientist Reveals Days Are Only Going to Get Shorter
Meteorologist Marty Harrow recently published the results of several years of research. In his article, he concluded that while daily hours of sunlight fluctuate with the …
TikTok Where Creator Points to Text Has Great Relationship Advice, Actually
As February began, many young people described themselves as “pressed to impress” their partners. One such youth, Julian Wheels, found a solution on his “For You” …
Local Student Stops Getting Gas, Car Still Runs “Just Fine”
Sophie Pubb, a third-year math major at UCSD, reportedly stopped filling the gas tank of her 1999 Honda Civic after two weeks of back-to-back midterms at …
Horticulturists Discover Blue Pepper
Last week, Dr. Horton H. Wharton, the head of the UC San Diego Horticulture Department, announced his research team had discovered a new hottest pepper and …
Biden Declares Bose-Einstein Condensate the New State of the Union
Tuesday night, President Joseph R. Biden shocked the nation during his annual State of the Union address when he declared that the United States would soon …
Doctoral Student Submits Thesis, Promises to Have Time for Other Things Now
Local student Philomena Doctersen finally submitted their thesis last Tuesday, which was met with equal celebration and surprise by friends and family. Dr. Fahrt, their thesis …
Ticketmaster CEO to Open New Company: Masterticket
Last week, millions of Swifties experienced “several bear attacks” as they attempted to buy tickets for Taylor Swift’s upcoming tour, Eras. As a result of the …
Starbucks’ Holiday Cups Cost Extra This Year
After years of Novemberly outrage about Starbucks’ holiday red cups, the coffee company has elected to make the controversial cups an add-on to their drinks instead …


