On March 11, 2020, the WHO officially declared COVID-19 a pandemic. Three years later, many are still grappling with the impact of living through unprecedented times. “I lost literal years of my life! I was sitting silently in my Algebra II Zoom breakout room one day in April, and I blinked, and suddenly it was my 30th birthday,” explained San Diego resident Antoni Fauchi. “Every time I blinked, time passed faster, and I’ll never get that time back. I’m a 15-year-old living in a 65-year-old’s body.”
Emerging science at UCSD implies Fauchi may be correct. According to theoretical physicist Dr. Taimiss Fayke, the university’s physics, cognitive science, and psychology departments have “joined forces Voltron style” in an unprecedented study attempting to quantify the power of the human mind. “In theory, it should be 2023. But the collective trauma we experienced made three years feel like 50. Enough people felt that way that we bent the fabric of space-time and we’re living in 2070. It’s unprecedented. Preliminary data indicates that in a few months, the collective wishing power of the United States will reduce the national caseload down to zero and actually make COVID an event of the distant past.”
Kaz Nuckowski is a Copy Editor for the Muir Quarterly. They are usually found in Half Dome laughing and encouraging students to share their wit or giving their own suggestions to make everyone else laugh. Never doubt Kaz and their skills because they will surprise you, especially when the spread has a comic open and they are feeling inspired!
