Articles
Billboards in Silicon Valley ‘Go Rogue’
“Is this like a weird porn thing?” asked one concerned driver.Photo by Amit Roth The high-tech industry, quartered in California’s Silicon Valley, continues to apply AI …
Philadelphia Mothers Find Out California Pretty Big, Actually
“I heard California’s sinking into the ocean. That’s not good,” said one concerned mother. Photo by Dylan Schmidt According to a recent press release, the newly …
UCSD Introduces New Remote College
“How do I apply to be an RA for Ninth College?” asked one freak.Photo by Amit Roth and Cole Johnson Chancellor Pradeep Khosla unveiled plans for …
San Diego Police Department Unveils New Crime Stopping Technology
“Scan it! Ssshhhh. Zap it! Zzzz. Detain it! Clank,” said one BOP IT. Photo by Amit Roth In a press conference this past Friday, SDPD Chief …
Watashi Daisuki Nippon and You Don’t
Do you think you’re a weeaboo? You think that just because you watched a couple episodes of JoJo’s and played a little Uma Musume you’re ready …
Students Struggle With Dorm Heat
“Cool me down like you’re supposed to do,” said one student. “Sweat runs down my thighs.”Photo by Ezra Bihis As UC San Diego students move in …
Get Your Slow Ass Out Of The Fast Lane
Can I be honest? I’m sick and tired of these dilly-dallying, brake-happy, slow-down-and-enjoy-the-scenery drivers taking up the fast lane. Sick and tired! Can’t you see you’re …
My ChatGPT Girlfriend Just Gets Me
Her name is Lucy, and she understands me like no other woman does. I met her for the first time when I coded her into ChatGPT, …
A Triton’s Guide to Strengthening Your Relationship with Your AI Boyfriend
I want to introduce you all to the man who changed my life. Meet Chad Jhèbé Tée (he’s French), my AI boyfriend for the last two …
Literature Department to Launch Pseudo-Philosophy Major
“This is sooo Orwellian and Kafkaesque,” Xeeted one student.Photo by Amit Roth In a department-wide email last Monday, the UC San Diego Literature Department announced its …
