“How will this affect Gaylor?” asked one protestor.
Photo by Aidan Moran
To combat the “troubling threat lesbians pose to [American] democracy,” President Trump issued an executive order last Tuesday banning “yuri, girls’ love, and all other forms of girl-kissing media,” effective November 1st. The order criminalizes viewing and engaging with lesbian content — including yuri animanga, sapphic literature, and “Heart Attack” by Chuu — with violators facing 50 years to life in prison. Outraged at the “draconian” measures which led to a popular yuri website shutting down, a group of sapphic defenders have committed themselves to protesting against the order by “any means necessary.”
The order mandates that entities hosting lesbian media must change their sapphic selections to heterosexual content or face the threat of permanent government shutdown. FBI Director Kash Patel instructed streaming sites, anime cons, and showings of “Wicked” and “Wicked: For Good” to “remove the yuri or die.” Many have chosen to comply instead of fighting the ban. Dynasty Reader, a popular yuri-viewing site with a near-completely sapphic manga catalog, has shut down indefinitely, however, with owners of the site stating that “[they] would rather die than put heteroslop on [their] site.”
Dynasty Reader’s suspension has further inflamed opposition to the order, with many dubbing it the “second burning of the Library of Alexandria” and encouraging others to buy physical releases of their favorite yuri manga to “preserve what [they] still can.” Much of the outrage has been directed online, out of many users’ fears that “Big Hetero will [get them].”
One X user, @mizuenascissoring, expressed their concern in a Xeet: “THEY TOOK DOWN OOMF’S YURISLOP???? WHEREWILL I GET MY DOGSHIT RECS NOW”. Another user, @pinkponygyatt, Xeeted, “what the fuck do you mean they took shuukura from us. take watanare, take aoihana, but don’t you DARE TOUCH MY FEET LICKING YURI!!!!”
While many have indirectly fought the order by buying yuri manga and writing Taylor Swift Karlie Kloss slash fanfiction, some have taken to the streets, shutting down traffic and commercial activity. Holding signs depicting lesbian characters and ships, many protestors plan to “march until the yuri site comes back,” with Dynasty Reader’s takedown seen as the “crowning grievance” of the movement against the order that united protestors from previously opposing sides.
“I used to hate ‘Genshit gacha slop’ yuri,” Wilma L. Winters said while embracing a fellow protestor. “This movement is so much bigger than just us.”
“And I used to hate toxic yuri,” Sarah Pic, who Winters embraced, added. “We need to put aside our differences and save lesbianism. It’s for the good of the world.”
While the walk-outs and marches initially started as disorganized protests, local “yuri councils” have formed, giving protestors direct orders to streamline the movement. At an open-mic event during the organized march in Hillcrest, San Diegan yuri council leader Leslie Bean spoke out about the need to band together, encouraging these developments.
“We must look out for each other, because no one else will,” Bean said. “I leave you with this quote: ‘First they came for “Citrus”, and I did not speak out — because I do not like “Citrus”. Then they came for gacha game yuri, and I did not speak out — because I do not like gacha game yuri. Then they came for “Bloom Into You” and the green yuri — and there was no one left to speak for me.’”
As more lesbians join the protest, softball stadiums are projected to lose 15% of their annual revenue.
World-renowned rapper, set ordinance, and map direction, Patriarch Cardi(nal) previously ventured on a quest by the Basileus ton Rhomaion to find the elixir of life. Failing in this, he was then banished to live in the oubliette of the Méga Palátion in Constantinople — and now begs for those above the grate to "let him out of the pit."
