“I actually voted for the entity,” said one median voter.
Photo by Amit Roth
At 11:56 p.m. on October 27th, an unknown entity appeared in the sky above the White House. According to witnesses, the entity’s form morphed into various shapes, including “something vaguely human,” a “perfect cube,” and a “profound sense of loss.” The entity then emitted a flash of light in a never-before-seen color. Afterwards, many residents reported “immediately going back to what [they] were doing before.” Robert Blake, a writer living in Washington, DC, noted that he “felt an overwhelming sense of panic as [he] laid [his] eyes upon a being so much greater than [him]. Blake reported that he “quickly realized that it did not really affect [him],” despite his bathroom now containing “a shrieking man smelling of lavender.”
On October 28th, President Donald J. Trump appeared in front of the White House to address the topic of the entity. “My great, greatest Americans,” he said. “I know many of you, all of you even, are wondering about the unknowable intelligence that has formed within our most beautiful sky. However, I think you all just need to stop wondering about it! There’s nothing wrong with it, absolutely nothing! In fact, I think all these lies come from those crazy Democrats, like Sleepy Joe the Sleepiest, the woke agenda, and those illegal immi—” Trump was interrupted by his jaw bone falling off of his face and scuttling away on a set of newly-grown spider legs. Despite being unable to form words, the address continued for another 10 minutes, with no one in the audience questioning his lack of jaw bone.
Witnesses also reported seeing other politicians with similar afflictions, including Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who had a “tube coming from his head that extended far into the sky even when he was indoors.” RFK Jr. declined to comment on his condition, instead stating that “a bit of blue will make me feel brand new,” as he walked into a door that promptly disappeared. RFK Jr. has not been seen since.
Some right-wing activists have shown support for the President’s position on the entity. Hildred Castaigne, who runs the Youtube channel “The Right is Alright,” condemns critics of Trump’s laissez-faire attitude towards the entity. In a recent video, using one of her many mouths, Castaigne said, “These leftists are so stuck in their own little echo chamber that they can’t even accept normalcy! So what if all mirrors in the world now show a timer counting down, or that some people have begun to fall through solid ground? That is just normal reality, not your woke bullshit.”
Despite the reactions from various public figures, there have been no formal protests to remove the entity in the sky. Washington DC resident Japhet Smith recognized that “Marjorie Taylor Greene being turned inside out is really freaky, but [she] just [has] a hard time caring when bills are piling up.”
Further attempts at gaining information on this topic have failed due to all of the world’s reporters falling into an unwaking slumber.
Cole was born in 1984, a few months after the "incident". He is currently majoring in Mad Science, with a specialization in explosions. He is most know for growing mold in various bathrooms.
