Editorial

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

If the Ice Caps are Melting, Can’t We Just Make More?

Written by: Jay Noonan

By Janet HolmesBusiness major andamateur Climatologist Everyone nowadays is complaining about the ice caps melting without doing anything about it, but the solution is actually so …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Cats Gets Two Paws Up

Written by: Robert Renfro

Sorry, I know this movie came out a while ago, but this review took a while to write. Hopefully I end up submitting it on time. …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Look Who’s Pissing Me Off Again

Written by: Hanaa Moosavi

It’s that time of the year again. Yes people, the biggest brains of Hollywood have come together to completely fuck over all content made by people …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

I’m Ditching Coal This Year for a Cleaner Alternative

Written by: The MQ

By Santa ClausBearer of Gifts Merry Christmas everyone! Old Saint Nick’s here to dispel some not-so-jolly rumors about my business practices. Some grumpy old elves have …

ArticlesEditorialOpinionUncategorized

A Reflection on the Past Decade Shows That Things Really Are Improving

Written by: Pilan Scruggs

With the year of optometry rapidly approaching, many of you are reminiscing on the past decade and wondering what will happen next. Some of you, in …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

This Little Piggy Went to a Frat Party, This Little Piggy Has a Bloody Nose Because Becky Offered Her Cocaine…

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

By Martha ChristiansonFailed Parent Hello! Yeah, hello, Susie! You’re just the cutest baby, huh? Do you want to hear what your siblings were up to last …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Foot Fetishist Reviews Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”

Written by: Andrew Sitko

By Westin ToetinoNew Movie Critic Tarantino’s ninth film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a love letter to the glory days of the movie industry, …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

My Nonprofit Has Made Significant Measures to Stop Global Warming

Written by: Steven Zhou

I have never been more proud to be a community leader in Hell. After thousands of years of drought, fire, and brimstone, I decided that enough …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Promise You Won’t Get Mad, But …

Written by: Sage Cristal

Promise you won’t get mad? Um, I kind of did a bad thing. But I didn’t mean to do it! It just kind of happened, and …

ArticlesEditorialOpinionPolitics

Editorial: I Wish I Could Make a Difference in Politics, but I Don’t Know How

Written by: Robert Renfro

Like many Americans, I want to make a valuable difference in my community, but it can seem overwhelming and hopeless. How much of a difference could …