Politics
Wall Street Grows Tired of Betting Against the Livelihood of Working Class People, Begins Betting Against Working Class’s Lives Directly
Major Wall Street investors and mutual funds have recently begun a new trading strategy. Instead of investments in traditional businesses or commodities, many investors have traded …
Following Afghanistan Pull Out, Top Generals Still Looking for Bottom Specific
Following the “successful” withdrawal from Afghanistan, the chaos in the final moments at the Kabul airport has Top General Meiner and his compatriots in desperate search …
New Study Reveals Why All the YouTubers You Liked as a Kid Are Now Anti-Vaxxers
“I don’t need a vaccine to protect me; I have diamond armor,” wrote @fathogjones on Twitter.Photo by Connor Betterly As the number of vaccine mandates grows …
UCSD Implements Inclusivity “Mxndate”, Enforces Binary “Mxntality”
Photo by Sharon Roth After months of anticipation and several strongly worded email from campus TERFs, UCSD is finally rolling out their “Inclusivity Mxndate.” Chancellor Khosla …
Local Gamer Releases Manifesto on Video Game Monetization
One commenter wrote, “They need to make the Minecraft boobs not square anymore.”Photo by Jack Yang Early last week, local San Diego gamer Huey D. Louie released …
Wizards of the Coast Announces New D&D Book: The Curse of QAnon
“Thank God I don’t have to keep homebrewing this sort of thing,” commented one tired dungeon master.Photo by Jack Yang At an investor meeting yesterday, Wizards of …
Paddington The Bear Added to FBI’s Most Wanted List
After sampling Pooh’s honey, Paddington said, “Oh yeah! This shit is pure!”Photo by Sharon Roth Described as “wearing a charming button down, with surprisingly soft brown fur, …
Governor Newsom Found to be Leading a Double Life as Superhero: “The Gavin-ator”
“You win some, you Newsom,” said The Gavinator.Photo by Jack Yang In a feature piece posted online this past weekend, California Governor Gavin Newsom was revealed to …
Kamala Harris Under Fire for Staring at Joe Biden, Tapping Watch, and Sighing
White House staff reported seeing Vice President Harris writing “President Kamala Harris” over and over again on a legal pad.Photo by Maria Dhilla Despite being in office …
“Dead Man’s Party” Re-Enters US Billboard’s Hot 100s as Biden Presidency Begins
Who could ask for more? Many people did, but this is what we got.Photo by Jack Yang As President Joe Biden, noted as “still alive” by many …
