Politics
Brave Viking Clan Invades US Capitol to Fight for Traditional Roots in Fascism and Control
“I have my rights,” said one rioter, “and it’s my job to make sure that other people don’t.”Photo by Jack Yang On January 6, a group of …
White House Employees Sabotage Transition, Places Whoopee Cushion in Oval Office
Highly trained officers are still on the lookout for several cans of Silly String.Photo by Maria Dhilla According to reports from several anonymous sources within the White …
President Trump Sues White House Ravens for Saying “Nevermore”
Trump was later found muttering, “’Tis some staffer knocking at the Oval Office door. Only this and nothing more.”Photo by Maria Dhilla President Trump has declared a …
Bees Under Investigation for Illegal Activity
The Hive Guys burger chain was discovered to be a front for honey laundering.Photo by Jack Yang A recent FBI leak created quite a buzz when it …
US Debt Mysteriously Discovered Again After Disappearing for 4 Years
“To make money, one must spend money,” Trump claimed, as he raised the US debt seven trillion dollars.Photo by Jack Yang Soon after the recognition of Joe …
US Election Results to be Graded on a Curve Because Class Average is 50 Percent
Drawing arbitrary lines was easy for the Republicans after all their practice gerrymandering.Photo by Sharon Roth Due to the “uncertainty” in the results of the recent presidential …
Election Results Uncertain, US to be Returned to the United Kingdom
Paul Revere forgot to bring the mini sandwiches to the Boston Tea Party.Photo by Jack Yang The British Parliament, responding to claims of election fraud within the …
Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote
Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …
Denny’s Twitter Account Granted Human Rights
The ruling has redefined what it means to be human, causing many to have “eggsistential crises.”Photo by Sharon Roth The landmark Supreme Court ruling ‘Denny’s v. Thomas’ …
New From the CDC: “Social Distancing Rules Still Apply, Even if You Really Really Need a Hug”
Whittman stated: “These pillows are so fluffy, I might not even go back to people after this.”Photo by Jack Yang In a recent press conference, the Center …
