Volume 25 Issue 4

Sunday Comics

The Modern Cure

Written by: Sage Cristal

Center SpreadFeatures

The MQ’s Fashion Show

Written by: The MQ


Navy SEALs Replaced With Actual Seals Due to Government Shutdown

Written by: Kate Zegans

Amid the political quagmire of the longest government shutdown in U.S. history, President Trump issued Executive Order 7683, which will begin a rebranding campaign aimed at …


Freak Groundhog Accident Leads to Eternal Winter

Written by: Melina Cruz

Punxsutawney Phil was pronounced dead early in the morning on February 2. Since 3 a.m., reporters and civilians gathered around Phil’s groundhog hole in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. …


Trump Sells Executive Branch on eBay, New President is Now Desmond Wilson, Age Four

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Before the end of the government shutdown, Donald Trump has reportedly sold the Executive Branch on eBay to four-year-old Desmond Wilson. Trump, formerly known President of …


Local White Person Plays Uno “Reverse” Card on Racism Accusation

Written by: Sage Cristal and Dan Kaliblotzky

San Diego resident Arnold Zimmerman, upon being arrested for a hate crime in an East County Denny’s, attempted to deflect charges by presenting the police with …


Student Finds Parking on Campus Twice in a Row

Written by: Ronak Shah

A UCSD student successfully found parking two days in a row at Hopkins Parking Structure. The student, who wished to remain anonymous because of fears that …


Editorial: I Wish I Could Make a Difference in Politics, but I Don’t Know How

Written by: Robert Renfro

Like many Americans, I want to make a valuable difference in my community, but it can seem overwhelming and hopeless. How much of a difference could …


Study Shows Most Anti-Vaxxers Are Just Kids Afraid of Needles

Written by: Steven Zhou

A report from the Center for Disease Control has found that 95 percent of the anti-vaccination movement is composed of people with a fear of needles. …


Boats Wash Ashore in Revelle Quad After Stuart Art Collection Piece is Mistaken for Lighthouse

Written by: Jack Yang

Recent heavy rain has led countless of boats in attempt to dock around the Revelle Quad. Sailors claimed that they had mistaken the new Stuart Art …