Jack Yang
I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Vs. You Fool! I Need a Real Human Heart!
Point: I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Hey Annie. Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m not great at the whole romance thing, but I wanted …
Santa Claus Teams With Jeff Bezos, Can Finally “Watch Who’s Naughty and Who’s Nice”
Due to a global resource shortage, Santa and Bezos are considering employing naughty kids in coal mines.Photo by Maria Dhilla This holiday season, former Amazon CEO Jeff …
Welcome To: “THE META UNIVERSITY XPERIENCE”
By Mark Zuckerberg Proud American Hi guys, Zuckerberg here. I’ve always said that the years we spend in college can be some of the most formative …
Random Passerby Crowned “King of the Met Gala”
Random Passerby Crowned “King of the Met Gala” Celebrities attending the Met Gala last weekend were surprised to see viewers choose random passerby Jim Hornbloom as …
[PLAYABLE GAME] Admiring Art: Love on Library Walk
Come Try Your Luck at Nintendo’s Newest, UCSD-themed Dating Sim created by our very own Jack Yang! Click here to learn more!
Aged RPG Protagonist Still Hoarding Potions for “Final Boss Battle”
Alex Alteria, the legendary heroine of Etheria, celebrated her 89th birthday last week, sitting…
Dr. Fauci Equips Arm-Mounted Syringe Cannon, Intends to Distribute Vaccines “Whether Americans Like It or Not”
An eyewitness was heard saying, “I’ve never vac-seen a sexier person.”Photo by Jack Yang Last Thursday in Bethesda, Maryland, during the quiet hours before the morning traffic …
The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence
The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence According to the latest reports from the CIA, the ubiquitous “Jack” commonly referred to …
Coastal Ecosystem Devastated After Gender-Reveal Oil Spill
BP has recently defended the Deepwater Horizon spill, calling it “ahead of its time.”Photo by Jack Yang Several miles of coastal wetland in the San Diego area …
Automobile Manufacturers Team Up To Make “Car Power Plants”
Automobile Manufacturers Team Up To Make “Car Power Plants” Following Governor Gavin Newsom’s proposed 2035 ban on the sale of gas-powered cars in California, several automobile …
