Robert Renfro

ArticlesCampusNews

Student Spends Four Years Studying Sugar Production, Finally Granulates

Written by: Robert Renfro

Kirby-Newkirk has been criticized for not double majoring in glucose and fructose, stopping him short of a disaccharide.Photo by Maria Dhilla After four years of painstaking theoretical …

ArticlesLocalNews

Snickering Researchers Warn of New Threat Posed by Updog

Written by: Robert Renfro

Scientists have looked up high and down low, but unfortunately they have been too slow to catch the mysterious Updog.Photo by Maria Dhilla According to several extensive …

Briefs

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick: A Guide to Becoming the World’s Best Golf Caddy

Written by: Robert Renfro and Matthew Miltimore

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick: A Guide to Becoming the World’s Best Golf Caddy Horace Scope, locally-renowned golf caddy, has begun the press tour …

ArticlesEditorialNintendo PowerOpinionSpecial IssueUnskippable Cutscene

Touch the Sky in Pilotwings! Or Don’t! See if I Care!

Written by: Robert Renfro

What’s up gamers? I’m a nameless pilot, and this return has been a long time coming…

ArticlesLocalNews

Local Family Goes on Annual Ska Trip

Written by: Robert Renfro

Billy Johnson complained, “This trip was supposed to be Sublime.”Photo by Jack Yang In accordance with tradition, the infamous San Diegan family, the Johnsons, have completed their …

ArticlesNewsTech

Clam Unhappy, Despite Common Saying

Written by: Robert Renfro

“It’s really hard to stay positive these days, as a clam,” said one local clam. “I mean, we barely have a foot to stand on!”Photo by Sharon …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

White House Employees Sabotage Transition, Places Whoopee Cushion in Oval Office

Written by: Robert Renfro

Highly trained officers are still on the lookout for several cans of Silly String.Photo by Maria Dhilla According to reports from several anonymous sources within the White …

ArticlesLocalNews

Bowling Balls to No Longer Be Made With Chocolate Center Starting in 2021

Written by: Robert Renfro

Healthy eating advocates support the change, claiming: “Less chocolate is right up our alley!”Photo by Jack Yang The storied sport of bowling rolled into a new era …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Cats Gets Two Paws Up

Written by: Robert Renfro

Sorry, I know this movie came out a while ago, but this review took a while to write. Hopefully I end up submitting it on time. …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Ranked #1 University by “Getting Hit by a Bike” Magazine

Written by: Robert Renfro

Reporters state that as soon as the interview was finished, another bike crash occurred outside the studio.Photo by Jack Yang UC San Diego has been honored with …