1. You were out of Dining Dollars and needed the money
2. It was a cute first date idea
3. You’re not sure if you’re anemic, but you’re pretty sure this is the correct way to check
4. You have so much self-hatred that you need to get rid of as much of you as possible
5. There was a shooting and local authorities need blood
6. You love pranking blood donor recipients by first taking a lot of cocaine
7. If you donate four more times this year, you’ll get a free calendar
8. It was either this or that guy on library walk that was gonna make you sign up to vote
9. You didn’t, someone stole your blood
10. You needed a quiet place to study

1. Work an unpaid summer internship to get “experience”
2. Fry an egg on the sidewalk and get food poisoning
3. Live-tweet the 36 hours you spend in bed
4. Write letters to Santa for everyone in your hometown
5. Deep-throat an Otter Pop
6. Go to Castles N’ Coasters, Arizona’s finest amusement park — Sponsored by Castles N’ Coasters, Arizona’s finest amusement park
7. Marathon that show you’ve already seen twice
8. Try to increase your Twinkies-eaten-per-hour rate by five
9. Stare at the sun
10. Attend summer session

1. He forgot to include your “Jr.” when he gave it to you, so his money just referred back to himself
2. He didn’t get any inheritance from his parents, so it’s kind of a family tradition at this point
3. You didn’t show up to his funeral
4. He selfishly donated all of his money to charity before he died
5. He never learned how to write
6. $2.71 doesn’t split evenly three ways
7. He was a devout socialist and believed that his remains belonged to the state
8. Years ago, you sold your portion of inheritance to your brother for a bowl of soup
9. He thought choosing to be breast fed by your mother was a form of favoritism
10. You didn’t put him in your will, so why would he put you in his

1. Your entire identity is defined by the word “student”
2. You haven’t gotten your idealism completely crushed out of you yet, so you need another year
3. You paid for those parking lots to be constructed and, god damn, you’re gonna use them
4. You’re on the hunt for the elusive triple major
5. You don’t want your parents to start seeing you as a self-reliant individual
6. You just switched into Cog Sci
7. You’re keeping a low profile
8. You forgot to pay that 10 cent charge on your Imprints count and now they’re holding your diploma
9. Your job as a part time drug dealer in the Village is quite lucrative
10. You’re a first year