November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

Written by: Hannah Rosenblatt

Area middle-aged slacker and unreliable reporter Josh finally decided to show his face again late Monday afternoon after missing a whole three weeks of work and failing to report on several crucial recent stories. For almost a month, Josh was unreachable by his coworkers and, consequently, forced a certain reporter to cover all of his assigned stories.

Josh has been a reporter for over four years and a beloved mentor for at least the past two and a half. However, after not showing up to work at 10 a.m. with a warm cup of coffee as he normally does on a typical Thursday, Josh was greatly missed by his colleagues who were forced to report on the previous day’s basketball game, of which they knew nothing about.

Josh continued to not show up to work during the next three days until his colleagues became suspicious that he might be in imminent danger instead of just being burnt out from years of reporting to a boss that regularly takes handouts from ad agencies.

After three weeks of absence, Josh finally  returned to work after an unannounced vacation to the Bahamas, just over two hours before the next issue of the paper was sent for printing. As a consequence, reporters were forced to publish filler material in  order to cover for his gaps in reporting.

Hannah Rosenblatt is an MQ alum. She was the 2017-18 Editor-in-Chief.

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