Top Ten Reasons You’re Not Graduating This School Year

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

  1. Your entire identity is defined by the word “student”
  2. You haven’t gotten your idealism completely crushed out of you yet, so you need another year
  3. You paid for those parking lots to be constructed and, god damn, you’re gonna use them
  4. You’re on the hunt for the elusive triple major
  5. You don’t want your parents to start seeing you as a self-reliant individual
  6. You just switched into Cog Sci
  7. You’re keeping a low profile
  8. You forgot to pay that 10 cent charge on your Imprints count and now they’re holding your diploma
  9. Your job as a part time drug dealer in the Village is quite lucrative
  10. You’re a first year

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