Ice Cube Changes Stage Name to Water Ice Cube, a founding member of the hip-hop group N.W.A., has made waves in the news after announcing that …

Leaked Republican Plan Aims to “Drown the Liberal Coasts” An anonymous source has recently revealed that a leaked Republican document detailed plans to accelerate global warming …

Democratic Debate Revealed to be Drinking Game Played by Candidates A leak from the office of the DNC described the November debate as a “drinking game …

Local Mall Santa Claims it is Impossible to Have One Ho, Must Have Three After showing up to work two and a half hours late with …

Last week, United Nations president Tijjani Muhammad- Bande declared a state of emergency because “Spotify just compelled him to”. “It was really weird at first,” Muhammad-Bande …

Study Shows the Parties You’ve Been Hosting are Actually Kickbacks New research from the UCSD’s Local Administration on Manners and Extroversion (L.A.M.E.) shows that those parties …

UCSD to Build Online Security System With Money Gained from Facebook Partnership Representatives from the UCSD Information Technology Services announced last Friday their plans to improve …

Meninists United Announces Petition to Rename “Herpes” to “Himpes” In response to the feminist movements’ emphasis on retelling herstory, prominent members from the meninist movement have …

CHIPOTLE Discount Revoked For Uncreative PET Costume Local dog owner Jacob Houston was rejected from Chipotle’s annual Halloween discount after his English bulldog’s Batman costume was …

“Joker” Leaves Local Incel Unsatisfied and Angry Local man Wade Hursh was spotted yelling and causing a disturbance outside of Reading Cinema in Mira Mesa earlier …