Megan Cox

Beans Cox is a crystal carrying, palm/tarot reading, vegan hipster who is obviously from Portland, Oregon. Her favorite type of bean is pinto.

Briefs

Scientists Prove You Should Buy a Gemini a Goose Sweater

Written by: Megan Cox

Scientists Prove You Should Buy a Gemini a Goose Sweater New research from the University of Asking Indirectly for What You Want revealed that a person’s …

ArticlesLocalNews

Mall Santa “a Little Too Eager” To Let Kid Sit On His Lap

Written by: Megan Cox

Jones reportedly signed a non-disclosure agreement with a statute of limitations claus.Photo by Jack Yang Public suspicion has been rising surrounding Heritage Plaza Mall Santa Carl Jones, …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

How I Went From Lexa-Amateur to Lexapro

Written by: Megan Cox

By Cleo Armstrong Emotionally Numb Bad Bitch Like you all, 2020 has hit me hard. I’m unemployed. Paying rent gets harder and harder every month. My …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter PointPolitics

Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski and Megan Cox

Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …

ArticlesCampusNews

Former “Gifted” Student No Longer “a Pleasure to Have in Class”

Written by: Megan Cox

“Sometimes I feel like I peaked in preschool,” lamented Livens.Photo by Sharon Roth In first grade, Amanda Livens was reportedly labeled a “talented and gifted” student. 12 …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

If 2020 Fucked Everyone, Then How Come I’m Still A Virgin?

Written by: Megan Cox

By Trenton Toland Freshman Incel When I heard the Fox News Financial Analyst say “2020 fucked everyone,” my initial thought was, “Sweet! Now I don’t have …

Briefs

“World’s Best Grandma” Card Written in 2007 Still Holds Up

Written by: Megan Cox

“World’s Best Grandma” Card Written in 2007 Still Holds Up In 2007, Meghan Cax, who was six years old at the time, wrote a card for …

ArticlesCampusNewsPolitics

New From the CDC: “Social Distancing Rules Still Apply, Even if You Really Really Need a Hug”

Written by: Megan Cox

Whittman stated: “These pillows are so fluffy, I might not even go back to people after this.”Photo by Jack Yang In a recent press conference, the Center …

ArticlesLocalNews

“Men Are Just Funnier,” Claims Man After Saying a Woman’s Joke, But Louder

Written by: Megan Cox

When asked where he gets his material, Ackerson said, “I dunno, it just kinda comes to me.”Photo by Jack Yang A workspace dispute escalated at a local …

ArticlesLocalNews

Local Woman’s Cystic Acne “Actually Says Something Really Nice” in Braille

Written by: Megan Cox

“It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever spelled out on their face for me,” said Funke. Photo by Jack Yang UC San Diego Freshman Ruby Stone has recently …