Briefs

Briefs

Kratt Brothers to Reboot “Zoboomafoo” Using Original Actors

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Kratt Brothers to Reboot “Zoboomafoo” Using Original Actors PBS has announced the return of “Zoboomafoo” with new episodes and an updated content style to appeal to …

Briefs

Area Student Claims He Woke Up as a Pokemon

Written by: MQ Trophy Husband

Area Student Claims He Woke Up as a Pokemon Last week, local student Daniel Mennow purchased the latest Pokemon video game Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team …

Briefs

Man From Bay Area Has Inexplicable Southern Accent; Experts Perplexed

Written by: Gage Tanzman

Man From Bay Area Has Inexplicable Southern Accent; Experts Perplexed A man from the Bay Area has caused mass confusion due to his inexplicable Southern accent. …

Briefs

Best Actor Goes to a White Man for the First Time Since 2018

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

Best Actor Goes to a White Man for the First Time Since 2018 In radical recognition of the diversity of white talent in the modern film …

Briefs

Local CS Major Abandons App Design Made Just as a Resume Booster

Written by: Hanaa Moosavi

Local CS Major Abandons App Design Made Just as a Resume Booster Justin Flannigan, a third-year Computer Science major, stopped production on his application FaceIt that …

Briefs

Diamond Companies Going Bankrupt Due to Etsy

Written by: Arden Wallace

Diamond Companies Going Bankrupt Due to Etsy With the upcoming Valentine’s holiday, major diamond companies were expecting the usual uptick in business. However, this year people …

Briefs

Local Man Thinks Calamari and Onion Rings are the Same Thing

Written by: Megan Cox

Local Man Thinks Calamari and Onion Rings are the Same Thing After ordering calamari from a local BJ’s restaurant, UCSD student Sam Stewart was shocked to …

Briefs

Rich Student Has Mother Visit Every Weekend to do His Money Laundering

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

Rich Student Has Mother Visit Every Weekend to do His Money Laundering UCSD first year Alexander Washington recently told his suitemates that his mother frequently travels …

Briefs

University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President

Written by: Steven Zhou

University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President Following UC President Janet Napolitano’s plans of resignation from her position in …

Briefs

Disney Launches Baby Rancor to Distract From Monopolistic Gains

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Disney Launches Baby Rancor to Distract From Monopolistic Gains At D23, Disney released its newest project “STAR WARS: Greedo’s Gambit.” Kathleen Kennedy has released the following …