December 6, 2023 Time traveling since 2088. Volume XXX Issue III

Written by: Steven Zhou

University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President

Following UC President Janet Napolitano’s plans of resignation from her position in 2020, the Regents of the University of California have confirmed that they will be sponsoring the next season of “The Bachelor” to determine the next UC President. In a public statement, the UC Regents announced that they believe funding the reality show “The Bachelor” is a good way for the UC system to find its next leader, and is the “best use of California’s taxpayer dollars.” Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffet, and Bill Gates are currently confirmed contestants for this special season of “The Bachelor.”

“The Regents of the UC system understand the importance of maintaining quality public universities that are affordable for all Californians,” shared UC Regent Richard Blum. “While funding ‘The Bachelor’ cost the system 500 million dollars, we felt good about pouring this much money into finding a new president, because they have such a large impact on the lives of all our students. Also, what else are we supposed to do with $500 million dollars? Update our undergraduate facilities or make the UC system more affordable for lower income students? That’s just crazy.”

Content Editor at The MQ

Steven Zhou was made in Canada and designed in California. He tolerates writing and has been occasionally funny since 2016.

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