Written by: MQ Trophy Husband

Area Student Claims He Woke Up as a Pokemon

Last week, local student Daniel Mennow purchased the latest Pokemon video game Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX. Since then, Daniel has been absent from “every single responsibility and duty he normally has to do.” Daniel’s roommate Chris explained, “Normally Daniel’s on top of his household chores, he’s great about cleaning his dishes, taking out the trash, and walking the dog. But since he got that damn game, he’s been enclosed in his room, only coming out for the rare bowl of water. And I only hear him squeal and growl ‘Cyndaquil no!’ and ‘Goddamnit, not another seed!’ very late at night.”

Mennow’s partner also voiced some concern. “Daniel’s been acting up, he hasn’t been answering my messages. We were supposed to go see the new Disney movie this weekend, ‘Onward,’ and he stood me up! He better hope he doesn’t run into me because he’ll be in big trouble.”

Most recently, Mennow has been “grinding the post-game hella hard.” Witnesses have confirmed that this is in a major push to complete the game 100% before the new Animal Crossing game comes out next week. “I’m excited man. I’ll get to stop fighting with a fake water penguin, and instead exchange casual small talk with a different penguin.”

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