CHIPOTLE Discount Revoked For Uncreative PET Costume

Local dog owner Jacob Houston was rejected from Chipotle’s annual Halloween discount after his English bulldog’s Batman costume was deemed “uncreative” by an employee. The “Boorito” deal has existed since Halloween week of 2009, during which customers can purchase a burrito for $4 if they attend the restaurant in costume. “The costume is complete shit,” says Dawn Hanson, who rejected the costume after seeing Houston’s plans to use it for the promotion on Instagram. Hanson reportedly spread information on Houston’s disqualification to all San Diego Chipotle locations in an email describing it as “an insult to the creative ideas we’re trying to incubate here at Chipotle. This costume offends me to my very core, and if you don’t agree, you don’t understand art and also my dad owns half of you guys’ stores so I can get you fired if you don’t obey me.”

Houston expressed surprise at the Tex-Mex eatery’s reaction to his costume. “I’ve brought little Arthur to get the discount for years now, and people always think it’s adorable! Look at his little face and his little cape. So cute! He’s just trying to be festive for the holiday, aren’t you Arthur?” Arthur declined to comment beyond some labored breaths behind the mask tightly strapped onto his face.