Local Student Takes 2-Hour Bus Ride for Brief Social Interaction In a desperate attempt to engage with online college friends, local second-year student Kris Nunjowsky reportedly …

Magic 8-Ball Makes Concerning Predictions about Iraq The popular toy and novelty soothsayer, Magic 8-Ball, has garnered significant attention following their appearance on NBC 7 News. …

Home Shopping Network Officially Launches New Streaming Service The popular television station The Home Shopping Network announced that it is going to be launching its own …

Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining With alcohol Re-dyeing your hair Going on another walk Burning all your masks symbolically and …

Local Lawyer Disbarred after “Excessive Use” of Taylor Swift Quotes The American Bar Association recently disbarred a criminal defense attorney for unprecedented behavior. Despite repeated requests …

McQueen Tells All Kachow! I’ve been turned into a cow. Hey guys, it’s me, Lightning McQueen. I bet you wanna’ know how I got here. Well, …

Governor Newsom Ends “Bummer” Stay-at-home Order The Governor of California, Gavin Newsom, has recently ended the stay-at-home order afflicting the entirety of California. In a shocking, …

Student Copes with Loneliness Through Horrible Film Binge The pain of a recent breakup coupled with the stress of remote learning have brought local student Melanie …

Gamestop Offers $5 Trade-in Deal for GME Shares Video game retailer GameStop has unveiled a new trade-in service in response to the attention they’ve received from …

Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness Local student, Bandrew Bitko, has recently reported an “assault of kindness” after they came out as non-binary. Bitko …