Brave Senator Thwarts Human Rights Measure On March 5, when counting a vote on whether or not to increase the federal minimum wage to 15 dollars …

Area Man Experiences Brief Sexual Thrill After Seeing Someone Unmask The emotion Raphael Fratangeli felt upon witnessing a complete stranger’s full, unmasked face was, in his …

Local Pre-Law Student Mourned by All The entire UCSD community is in mourning following the loss of local pre-law student, Shmexter Shmamilton. Known by his peers …

Swag Law Passes in Yolo County The infamous Yolo County in Northern California recently gained major attention for a series of laws passed in an attempt …

Local Student Takes 2-Hour Bus Ride for Brief Social Interaction In a desperate attempt to engage with online college friends, local second-year student Kris Nunjowsky reportedly …

Magic 8-Ball Makes Concerning Predictions about Iraq The popular toy and novelty soothsayer, Magic 8-Ball, has garnered significant attention following their appearance on NBC 7 News. …

Home Shopping Network Officially Launches New Streaming Service The popular television station The Home Shopping Network announced that it is going to be launching its own …

Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining With alcohol Re-dyeing your hair Going on another walk Burning all your masks symbolically and …

Local Lawyer Disbarred after “Excessive Use” of Taylor Swift Quotes The American Bar Association recently disbarred a criminal defense attorney for unprecedented behavior. Despite repeated requests …

McQueen Tells All Kachow! I’ve been turned into a cow. Hey guys, it’s me, Lightning McQueen. I bet you wanna’ know how I got here. Well, …