Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining
- With alcohol
- Re-dyeing your hair
- Going on another walk
- Burning all your masks symbolically and then buying new ones because you still need them
- Trying that sourdough bread-making thing everyone was talking about
- Saying “Oh shit” to yourself very quietly
- Solidifying the COVID-19 vaccine and then snorting it
- Talking to someone about what precedented times we’re living in
- Pretending you got another stimulus check by spending $1,200 anyway
- Singing “Imagine” by John Lennon
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