On March 2, the 97th annual Oscars were held at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles, one mile away from the recent Palisades fire. During the four hour, nine- teen minute show — three hours of which were Best Actor winner Adrien Brody’s speech — an in-depth presentation was given on the Academy’s diverse voting body: four white men with a median age of 82 and genetic backgrounds tracing back to every corner of Europe, reportedly “drooling” over the works of Orson Welles. “I thought we were better than this,” said director Quentin Tarantino. “One of my great mentors, Martin Scorsese… he always taught me to squeeze a couple Black roles in every movie. The Academy couldn’t even get an Albanian or something!”
Actress Demi Moore was nominated for Best Actress for her role in The Substance but lost to Anora’s Mikey Madison. She expressed her distaste, stating, “I thought that old white men who are always wrong were supposed to run for president.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “I guess I was wrong.” The Academy reported having “no idea what she was talking about” and have already nominated her for next year’s Academy Awards for her role in the interview.
