Written by: Emily Cronan

Swag Law Passes in Yolo County

The infamous Yolo County in Northern California recently gained major attention for a series of laws passed in an attempt to make it “hip” and “with the times.” One major change included the renaming of a local school from “John Adams Primary School” to “Lil Nas X Elementary.” This change was primarily supported by seventh grade Fortnite squad, “Level 69 Clan,” which vocally protested the school’s outdated title. 13 year old Jake Jones tweeted, “‘You only live once’ is hella’ lame, I’m about to yeet the roof off my school.”

The adults of Yolo are at the mercy of the 12 to 14 year olds, as children are threatening to dox their parents’ personal information on TikTok if the law does not pass. Many parents were bullied into writing the SWAG Law into their local ballots, and a surge of “swaggy” changes have since occurred. Yolo’s only radio station now exclusively plays Macklemore and Pitbull.

In a recent statement, Lil Nas X Elementary’s fifth grade class president disclosed that “YOLO adults’ idea of swag does not match the needs and wants of our city’s tweens, teens, and Zoomers. And we will continue to fight against ageism in our public schools until we outnumber the Boomers in city council ten to one!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *