Articles
Study Finds New Sixth College Students Don’t Know How Good They Have It
One spectator commented, “Wow, this feels like the third installment in a trilogy. I wonder if I could go onto TheMQ.org and find the prequels.”Photo by …
UCSD Cracks Down on Students Squatting in Unfinished Eighth College
“The swaying of the building in the night wind rocks right me to sleep,” Snak commented.Photo by Julia Wong For many universities across America, the end …
Sunny G Found Wearing CAPEs
“I’m beginning to suspect that Sunny G might be Sun God,” one student said.Photo by Julia Wong Earlier this week on Sun God lawn, Sunny G …
The U.S. to Start Broadcasting All Court Proceedings Following Popularity of Heard-Depp Trial
One attorney concluded, “I rest my case, just like I rest on this MyPillow.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last Tuesday, the White House announced a new executive …
It’s Not Easy Being White
Every day I hear people saying things like, “white isn’t a color,” “white is just the absence of color,” “you can’t even see white, you just …
You Can Enjoy Your Summer and Relax Vs. No You Can’t, You Have 1000 Things to Do and You Need to Finish Them by Tomorrow
Point: You Can Enjoy Your Summer and Relax The weather in San Diego sure is nice. Almost as nice as delicious orange-flavored, from-concentrate Sunny D. A …
Snake Path Comes to Life, Eats Anyone in Its Path
“This is not like the Rainforest Cafe,” Helpani attested.Photo by Julia Wong After an intense thunderstorm over San Diego, an ancient creature previously residing within Snake …
The Card Readers on Vending Machines Eroded My Trust in Our System
It’s 2003, and you’re sitting in the lounge of an office building that looks as if the ’90s was swallowed, trapped, and then died here. Your …
SDPD Uncovers Cannibal Cult
“I don’t need a vaccine to protect me; I have diamond armor,” wrote @fathogjones on Twitter.Photo by Sharon Roth On Sunday, May 29, a squad of …
UCSD Unveils Limited Number of Singularity Dorms to House Infinite Students in One Room
Plans to create more singularity housing failed when two dorms merged into one supermassive housing unit.Photo by Sharon Roth During a press conference earlier this week, …
