Articles
New False Memory Service Helps Users Pad Their Resumes
“This new app really helps me sleep better at night,” attested Laina Lightly. “And not just because I have better job security — my resumé now …
Scarecrows to Be Used to Alleviate Teacher Shortage
“It is such an honor to be taught by someone who won the Fields Medal in computational agriculture,” commented Ayla.Photo by Maria Dhilla In San Diego …
SHEIN Starts Selling Clothing Made of Antimatter
Order tracking has become complicated, as the post office cannot provide both the shipping address and delivery date.Photo by Amit Roth Fast-fashion retailer SHEIN, famous for …
CHIPS and Science Act Relieves Salsa Surplus
“I don’t know why everybody keeps talking about Taiwan,” said Jaquelin Schwarz. “I think Mexico has the best chips.Photo by Julia Wong Months after the passage …
Triangle-cut Pizza: The Story of Success Taken Away
I had my first slice of pizza when I was two years old. My grandmother took me to a place in Brooklyn on the corner of …
The Wheels of Comedy Central Are Turning
“It really takes the laughter out of manslaughter,” stated Barney Medler.Photo by James Woolley On Wednesday, at a joint press conference held by the FBI and …
Local Horse Opposes Affordable Housing Development in Neighborhood
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades — two things I’ll be chucking at the affordable houses!” proclaimed the horse.Photo by James Woolley In September …
Pirate Parrots Display “Matey Dance”
“Ahoy,” chirped the parrot, who then declined to give any further comment.Photo By Julia Wong Dr. Perry Keates, ornithologist, has spent the last 15 years studying …
Man Who Has “Never Had COVID” Discovers Devastating News About His “Allergy Flare-up”
“I finally figured out why none of his COVID tests came back positive. He takes the test tube liquid like a shot,” said Alex.Photo by James …
Geisel Renovation to Include New Crying Booths in Response to Rising Mental Health Concerns
Pitt said, “This whole time, I thought CBT stood for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Now I know it stands for Crying Booth Treatment.”Photo by Julia Wong Throughout …
