Isabelle Mckelvey


New LinkedIn Jobs Update Released: LinkedIn Cogs

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“I preferred getting ghosted,” said one LinkedIn Cogs user. “At least I could be righteously angry about that.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last week, in response to …

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Written by: Kaz Nuckowski, Olivia Scarborough, Isabelle Mckelvey and Jerry Wu

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …


Student Debt Relief to Be Distributed via Ticketmaster Verified Fan Presale

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“2,000th in line? I know this pain all too well!” stated one fan.Photo by Amit Roth Last week, the U.S. Department of Education revealed that student …


Man Who Has “Never Had COVID” Discovers Devastating News About His “Allergy Flare-up”

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“I finally figured out why none of his COVID tests came back positive. He takes the test tube liquid like a shot,” said Alex.Photo by James …


AI-Generated Images to Replace All Art Ever by 2024

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“If I had to describe the type of art I’m making, I would say I’m in my RGB period,” said Hugh Mann.Photo by Julia Wong Last …

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Is it Ever Okay – Manslaughter

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

What are the best snacks to bring to my child’s third-degree vehicular manslaughter court date?— HOMICIDAL HANK Whatever it is that you bring, make sure that …


Student Studying Abroad in the Netherlands Accidentally Sent to the Nether

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“You know, this isn’t the type of blaze I was expecting,” said Hero, dodging fireballs.Photo by Connor Betterly Before the events of last Tuesday, UCSD student …


Price Center’s TapEx Is Tired of Being Confused for Tampax –– Considers Rename

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

Price Center’s TapEx Is Tired of Being Confused for Tampax –– Considers Rename Tapioca Express, the only boba shop on campus for decades, has recently mostly …


Ben Platt Reveals His Secret to Staying Young

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“Up next, I’m auditioning for the role of Annie,” said Ben Platt.Photo by Sharon Roth Actor Benjamin Plattypus, more commonly known as Ben Platt, has recently been …

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Cooking Mama Owes Me Sex

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

I normally discourage the presence of female protagonists in video games because I believe they are not as strong nor as cool as men…