Campus
In Resolution of Third Strike, 64 Employees Receive Conciliatory Turkey
Photo by Sharon Roth In the spirit of Thanksgiving, HDH and striking 64 degrees employees finally reached a settlement last Thursday. Student employees have had mixed reactions, …
Students Desperate for Chance at Black Friday Tuition Discount
“You’re gonna get a deal on this knuckle sandwich,” yelled Sweeney.Photo by Sharon Roth As the holiday season approaches, Black Friday savings are at the forefront of …
Local ASMR Artist Livestreams From the 8th Floor of Geisel During Finals Week
“Surprisingly, my MATH 20C grade is more unsettling than asMARTA’s performance,” said O’Reilley.Photo by Sharon Roth The quietest floor of Geisel Library was disturbed last Tuesday by …
UCSD Announces Transcripts and Diplomas to be Available Exclusively as NFTs
“I can’t believe how easy this crypto stuff is,” exclaimed one student, “I traded my diploma for a picture of a funny monkey and now I’m …
UCSD Chem Majors Have a Thanksgiving Feast of Chemicals
“Technically, everything we eat is made of chemicals but only some of it contains arsenic,” said Cee.Photo by Sharon Roth During the Thanksgiving long weekend, many UCSD …
Wastewater Detection Systems Find Baby in Sewers After 2018 Masturbation-in-Shower Epidemic
“You think I’m gonna support these children?” asked Khosla, “I don’t even support these students.”Photo by Jack Yang On November 17th at 5:36 p.m., UCSD Wastewater Detection’s …
UCSD Creates New “All Holiday Week” for Convenience
“We gotta look on the bright side of this,” said Bitko. “That means there’s only one defined week of holiday music.”Photo by Maria Dhilla In an attempt …
Lucky Student to Receive Full Ride Scholarship After Participating In Series of Challenges
“During the game, we are legally allowed to murder our roommates” said Peepal, “Who can’t do the dishes now?”Photo by Sharon Roth On Friday, Akhil Peepal successfully …
UCSD Gets Railed by Blue Line Extension
Khosla announced the opening of the trolley by reading out of Dr Seuss’ One Line, Two Line, Red Line, Blue Line.Photo by Sharon Roth Over the course …
Welcome To: “THE META UNIVERSITY XPERIENCE”
By Mark Zuckerberg Proud American Hi guys, Zuckerberg here. I’ve always said that the years we spend in college can be some of the most formative …
