Campus
Lucky Student to Receive Full Ride Scholarship After Participating In Series of Challenges
“During the game, we are legally allowed to murder our roommates” said Peepal, “Who can’t do the dishes now?”Photo by Sharon Roth On Friday, Akhil Peepal successfully …
UCSD Gets Railed by Blue Line Extension
Khosla announced the opening of the trolley by reading out of Dr Seuss’ One Line, Two Line, Red Line, Blue Line.Photo by Sharon Roth Over the course …
Welcome To: “THE META UNIVERSITY XPERIENCE”
By Mark Zuckerberg Proud American Hi guys, Zuckerberg here. I’ve always said that the years we spend in college can be some of the most formative …
Breaking News: Animal Spotted in Local Forest
“It’s like a Pokémon… but real,” explained Buttage.Photo by Maria Dhilla Late on Thursday night, UCSD sophomore Peter Buttage noticed an unidentified animal in a eucalyptus grove …
Khosla Releases New “Crypto And Kitchen Exchange” Plan to Replace Dining Dollars
“I don’t give a shit about all this talk of legal tenders,” said Hamburg, “I just want my goddamn chicken tenders.”Photo by Jack Yang In light of …
UCSD Students Become One with Racoons During Dining Hall Crisis
“This tastes like trash,” said Vingh. “Thank you,” said the raccoon.Photo by Maria Dhilla This year, understaffed dining halls have struggled to provide service to a record …
UCSD Campus Police Crack Down on Post-It Art Returns to Stop and Frisk
“This is a sticky situation, we have to handle it carefully,” Stork explained.Photo by Sharon Roth Many UCSD students took dorm decor to the next level with …
UCSD Announces “Bold, Firm” Plan to Decarbonize “by the Time the Earth is Swallowed by the Sun”
“Green energy? Sorry, I don’t see color,” claimed Khosla.Photo by Sharon Roth Following years of pressure by campus climate activists, UCSD admin declared their intention to “fully …
All Dining Dollars Converted to Triton Cash: Students Feast in Laundry Rooms
“At least I know my food is clean,” said Lyall.Photo by Jack Yang With understaffing and poor working conditions causing eon-long wait times at dining halls, UCSD …
UCSD Wins Rights to Build Ninth College Atop Gliderport Parking
“I’d be angry with what’s happening right now,” said Byrd, “but the view is so breathtaking I keep on forgetting.”Photo by Sharon Roth In a landmark case …
