Khosla announced the opening of the trolley by reading out of Dr Seuss’ One Line, Two Line, Red Line, Blue Line.
Photo by Sharon Roth
Over the course of its development, UCSD has continually sprawled out, never having much of a “grand entrance” like other universities. However, this is all set to change with the Pepper Canyon Amphitheater and Public Realm Project. With the completion of the new extension, the Blue Line Trolley now connects campus by rail to UTC, with further connections to the east and south. “The first key component to the project is complete,” said a representative.
Students are hoping that this trolley can bring some sense of reliability to the transit system. “Dealing with the buses is so hard,” said one second-year. “Sometimes they even come prematurely, before I can so much as hop on them, and I have to take matters into my own hands to get to my destination! It’ll be nice to have something that I can ride consistently.” However, San Diego transit veterans caution newer students against becoming too hopeful. Student resident Thomas Tanque remarked, “This seems promising, but — wait, are we going to have to use Pronto to get on this thing? Oh, why couldn’t they have stuck with Compass Cloud?” His comments derailed from there, despite attempts to get him back on track.
The administrators, who have no plans to ride the trolley after the initial photo-op, envision the new station as an improved “grand entrance” to the campus. “It’s all about the optics,” stated Chancellor Khosla. “I mean, remember when I put the sign above I-5 just because I could? This will be even more epic. Heck, we should put a UC San Diego sign on every railcar, or better yet, every seat!” Students are also thrilled that the Blue Line extension constitutes as the 22nd installation to the renowned Stuart Art Collection. “They’re gonna have, like, swings,” said one transfer student. “Maybe not as cool of a view as the secret swing over by Birch, but hey, this is a fine addition to the collection!”
Another upcoming installment for the Stuart Art Collection is a path with quotations of prominent figures in the history of UCSD engraved into it. Bets are currently being placed on the figures to which UCSD will attribute the quotations. Some students are anticipating legendary lines from professors Marx and Gillespie. Others think the school will instead display more infamous passages, such as the ever-prestigious UCB community’s renowned PSA, the “thirty-fucking-two percent” kid, or quotes from famed alumni that went into — “Um, acting.”
When asked how they decided on such an efficient allocation of capital, one spokesperson for the project stated, “Parking lots are just kinda lame to build. We’d much rather pour our funding into making the campus more accessible to the public, and, like, a cool new outdoor amphitheater. And of course, whatever we do looks amazing in light of the whole Munger situation over at UCSB anyway. While the trolley’s penetration through campus is a significant first step, as with all exciting new construction, both the Pepper Canyon Amphitheater and Public Realm Project are unlikely to be fully completed until the year after you graduate.”