Volume 28

ArticlesCampusNews

Geisel Renovation to Include New Crying Booths in Response to Rising Mental Health Concerns

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Pitt said, “This whole time, I thought CBT stood for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Now I know it stands for Crying Booth Treatment.”Photo by Julia Wong Throughout …

ArticlesCampusNews

Study Finds New Sixth College Students Don’t Know How Good They Have It

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One spectator commented, “Wow, this feels like the third installment in a trilogy. I wonder if I could go onto TheMQ.org and find the prequels.”Photo by …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Cracks Down on Students Squatting in Unfinished Eighth College

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“The swaying of the building in the night wind rocks right me to sleep,” Snak commented.Photo by Julia Wong For many universities across America, the end …

ArticlesCampusNews

Sunny G Found Wearing CAPEs

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“I’m beginning to suspect that Sunny G might be Sun God,” one student said.Photo by Julia Wong Earlier this week on Sun God lawn, Sunny G …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

The U.S. to Start Broadcasting All Court Proceedings Following Popularity of Heard-Depp Trial

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One attorney concluded, “I rest my case, just like I rest on this MyPillow.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last Tuesday, the White House announced a new executive …

ArticlesCampusNews

Title of Khosla’s Leaked 2022 Commencement Address: “Good Luck LMAO”

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“I was really worried and uncertain for my future,” began one student. “But after reading this speech, I’m reassured that I’m definitely screwed.”Photo by Maria Dhilla …

Top 10

Top Ten Things That Aren’t Getting Enough Attention Right Now

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The clitoris Our LinkedIn profile The nearest exit, which might be behind you The fact that we’ve had two presidents named George Bush This great new …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

It’s Not Easy Being White

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Every day I hear people saying things like, “white isn’t a color,” “white is just the absence of color,” “you can’t even see white, you just …

Sunday Comics

The Pride Flag

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The Pride Flag By Theo Erickson

Top 10

Top Ten New Ways to Generate Clean Energy

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Top Ten New Ways to Generate Clean Energy Capturing good vibes Plugging a power strip into itself Surrounding the moon with a Dyson sphere Picking up …