Volume 25 Issue 4
Kansas Lifts Up, Flies Away, Only One Person Notices
The entire state of Kansas has lifted up into the atmosphere and has flown directly into the sun. Sam Workmon, a Colorado resident, claims that on …
Sunshine Market to shut Down the Day After Target Opens
Sunshine Market recently announced that they will be permanently closing down operations in Price Center. In wake of the new Target moving in, the small market …
Dr Pepper Sued for Medical Malpractice
Jacob Rolloph, 27, died this week after a heart attack resulting from inappropriate medical treatment given by Dr Pepper. After the incident, Rolloph’s family discovered that …
Satan Comes to Reclaim Belichick After Unsurprising Super Bowl Win
Last Sunday night, the New England Patriots claimed victory in Super Bowl 53 over the Los Angeles Rams by the score of 13-03, marking their 6th …
“Save Me From The Dark” Alarm Clock Fails to Wake Users Up Inside
There’s nothing more difficult in my adult life than getting up in the morning. Every day, I wake up feeling like I’ve been sleeping for a …
Professor Bans Phones to Prevent Students From Watching Sex Tape
UCSD professor Hartman Brody banned phones in his classroom out of fear that his students were watching his sex tape. Brody was reportedly having an affair …
