Volume 25 Issue 4
Louis C.K. Confident in New Standup Routine About Women
In the aftermath of a recent publicity scandal, comic Louis C.K. has decided to premiere a new standup act in an attempt to curry favor with …
New Avocado-Filled California King Mattresses Take the Country by Storm
In an unexpected trend sweeping the United States, many American couples are redefining the few hours they spend asleep by switching to avocado-filled mattresses. The precise …
Editorial: Liberals Took Away My Parental Rights After I Tried to Make Modern Day Cupid by Handing My Baby a Shotgun
If you ever need yet another reason to realize the end of civilized America is near, look no further than the leftist culture that has stripped …
Top Ten Ways to Ask Someone Out on Valentine’s Day
Tell them you’ve decided to settle Ask your mom to do it for you WikiHow never failed, right? Venmo them exactly 69 dollars Find out their …
Top Ten Reasons You Regret Robbing That Old Woman
She ran a lot faster than you thought she would It was right in front of a police station She was not afraid to use her …
Top Ten Reasons You Switched Churches
Your old church forced you to buy some lame book called “The Bible” You realized your old church was actually a Church’s Chicken You tried to …
Top Ten Reason Your Shirt’s on Backwards
It’s not your shirt that’s backwards, it’s you The front said UCSD and you don’t want to be associated It was backwards when you got it …
Roger Stone Nominates Tumor With Nixon Tattoo for 2020 Election
Roger Stone has sparked outrage amongst the American public after revealing that his tattoo of Richard Nixon had budded off into a small humanoid creature bearing …
