- Your old church forced you to buy some lame book called “The Bible”
- You realized your old church was actually a Church’s Chicken
- You tried to make a baptism more fun with a Super Soaker
- Your new church saves you 50% on sins
- Your old church lost the War on Christmas
- The church mom who made the best cookies died
- You decided you’d rather get allegories from a group of vegetables
- You drop-kicked an altar boy
- Your old church didn’t let you divorce, so you made your own
- You moved
Last modified: February 5, 2019
