Written by: The MQ

  1. Your old church forced you to buy some lame book called “The Bible”
  2. You realized your old church was actually a Church’s Chicken
  3. You tried to make a baptism more fun with a Super Soaker
  4. Your new church saves you 50% on sins
  5. Your old church lost the War on Christmas
  6. The church mom who made the best cookies died
  7. You decided you’d rather get allegories from a group of vegetables
  8. You drop-kicked an altar boy
  9. Your old church didn’t let you divorce, so you made your own
  10. You moved

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