There’s nothing more difficult in my adult life than getting up in the morning. Every day, I wake up feeling like I’ve been sleeping for a thousand years. I just need something to wake me up inside. If I don’t start my day early, I’m numb, without a soul — my spirit sleeping somewhere cold.

Before I come undone, I need something to bring me to life. So I was incredibly excited to try the brand new Save Me From The Dark alarm clock, which was advertised to breathe into users and make them real.

Unfortunately, I have to say I’m incredibly disappointed with Save Me From The Dark. I need a good alarm clock to save me from the nothing I’m close to becoming. Instead, this alarm clock has done nothing for me. The alarm function is so quiet that you couldn’t wake a sleeping baby, let alone my soul, frozen inside, among the dead. I haven’t been woken up on time a single morning. This product has just left me and let me die here.