Briefs
Two Titans of UCSD Class Battle Over Reading Neither Understood
Rufus Dunmore and Elliot Sinclair, mountainous figures in Professor Glenmore’s EDS 138 class, squared off in class during a discussion. Their voices, charged with the confidence …
ERC Student Finds Plastic in Cafe Ventanas Food; Excited for Change of Pace
Last Wednesday, ERC sophomore Dylan Biggs was surprised and delighted to find a piece of plastic within his Chicken Noodle Soup while eating at Cafe Ventanas. …
ResNet to Install Dial-Up Modems in dorms
After a campus wide Internet shortage, ResNet promised to address all complaints by installing state-of-the-art dial-up modems. “This is a serious problem, despite what anyone would …
Backpacks Lack Tact When Used in Sack
Recent feedback on the rucksack sex act reveals the sad sack fallback is a drawback. Once popular in the time of smokestacks and railroad tracks, the …
Facebook debuts Second-Order Read Receipts, You’re the Asshole Again
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg introduced a wave of new features to the website last week, chief among them what he’s calling “second order read receipts.” “This …
Officials Propose Cancellation of Sun God Cancellation Proposal
The Sun God Festival’s team, along with Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Juan Gonzalez, met this month to discuss the future of proposals to permanently cancel …
Cru and InterVarsity Hold Price War on Library Walk Hugs
This past Wednesday, to coincide with the approach of finals, Campus Crusade for Christ and InterVarsity both offered hugs for charity on Library Walk, resulting in …
California School Revitalizes Test Scores by Moving Problem Children to Other Schools
After years of struggle to meet standards set by state guidelines, Franklin Elementary exceeded expectations by developing a new strategy: move all of the “problem” children …
Vegan Meals at Roots Found to Contain Actual Vegans
HDH has received numerous complaints about the alleged addition of meat to supposedly vegan meals at Roots. Warren College first-year Rainn Wanatamatanabewan was reportedly among those …
Local Student “Loves to Have Fun”
Gerald Martinez, third year San Diego State student, came under nationwide scrutiny after posting a series of statements on his Facebook, the most controversial being “I …
