The new mobile game “Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp,” a game focused on altruism and generosity through the exchange of various fruit, fish, and bugs with “crafting” items, has taken UCSD by storm. HDH faculty was so moved by the game’s peacefulness that they have chosen to apply the game’s bartering system to their own restaurants. Soon, cold brews at Oceanview will cost two fruit beetles, and a scoop of ice cream at John’s Market will cost a single horse mackerel. In a special finals week deal, Hydroflasks will be reduced from three rainbow trouts to one, but a recent poll has revealed that most people would have paid three trout because, “What campers ask for rainbow trouts anyways?”

Some students are confused by the change, having never played Pocket Camp. Second year Tom N. said, “I’m confused. I just got a job at Pines, and they told me my first paycheck would be four logs of wood.” Another student, who claimed to be named “Adult Kat,” was excited about the change: “I’ve already memorized what crafting material every animal gives you in ACPC, and now I’m excited to find the HDH jobs that pay in cotton. I need to upgrade my tent!”