Briefs
Trader Joe’s Bag Begs for Recycling
Trader Joe’s Bag Begs for Recycling A paper bag recently used to carry one bottle of Chardonnay out of a Trader Joe’s is now resting under …
Thoughts from the Hostess Table
Thoughts from the Hostess Table After being in a pandemic, living in the darkness of my haunted house, and letting my once juicy, voluptuous buttocks decay …
Local Student Is on Edge of Being on Edge
Local Student Is on Edge of Being on Edge Bingus Bunggus has reported staring at the desktop of their computer for three days as their encroaching …
Pepsi Releases New European Line: Pepoui
Pepsi Releases New European Line: Pepoui European citizens and Pepsi enthusiasts alike are rejoicing at the new release of a French-themed take on the American soft …
Smuckers Uncrustables Recrusted
Smuckers Uncrustables Recrusted Smuckers has announced that their beloved Uncrustables will now be sold with crusts. This step is part of Smuckers’ vast rebranding campaign, which …
Diversity Hire Brian, 67, Speaks on His Work at Forever 21
Diversity Hire Brian, 67, Speaks on His Work at Forever 21 Brian Ainsent, who commenced his retirement five years ago, recently began looking for a new …
Should Guiseppe Mario be in jail? Is he innocent or guilty?
Should Guiseppe Mario be in jail? Is he innocent or guilty? While we’re sure that’s a question that’s on a lot of peoples’ minds, it’s Nintendo …
Which pokemon is the least satanic? (from a parent)
Which pokemon is the least satanic? (from a parent) Such a righteous question, but the blasphemous text of the Pokédex is no place to look for …
Why does Mario wear a hat?
Why does Mario wear a hat? Originally, we said that Mario is wearing a hat because drawing a fancy hairstyle in pixel sprites proved to be …
What is Professor Oak’s academic certification?
What is Professor Oak’s academic certification? Oak started his career as an undergraduate studying critical gender studies at the University of Kanto Celadon before flunking out …
