Blue’s Clues Detective Business Fails

It’s been 19 years since Blues Clues’ Steve went off to college, and is now announcing a new private detective business. Many years of finding clues and solving mysteries seemed to finally be paying off, but mere months after the opening, Steve declared bankruptcy. Several of Steve’s past clients have spoken out to shed light on this turn of events.

Mailbox said, “Steve would only draw pictures of the evidence. He would never confiscate anything, never obtain photographic proof, nothing. They weren’t even good drawings: they were crayon.” Upon further investigation of his clue-hunting experience, Steve’s resume is not as impressive as it might seem. Steve never found a clue — it was always the children in front of the screen. “We would scream and point to direct his attention to the obvious, blue pawprints and he would still struggle,” said one viewer, Ari Zona.

The Blues Clues “Big Musical” special also revealed that Steve is insecure about his failures. “He sang an emotional ballad about it. At the end of the song, he falls into a pile of boxes dramatically, and there he finds his first and only clue. With that in mind, Steve’s business failure was inevitable.”