Volume 28 Issue 1


Random Passerby Crowned “King of the Met Gala”

Written by: Jack Yang

Random Passerby Crowned “King of the Met Gala” Celebrities attending the Met Gala last weekend were surprised to see viewers choose random passerby Jim Hornbloom as …


Fraudulent Blacksmith Forges Sword

Written by: Aniela Drumonde

“It looks great in my hand but it sucks during warfare,” claimed Jean Dark. “Kind of a double-edged sword.”Photo by Sharon Roth The workshop of Trevor McLintosh …


La Jolla Family Rents Out Doghouse to UCSD Student Amidst Housing Crisis

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

“I like having the extra money,” said Mrs. MacInson. “But I no longer have a place to send my husband to when he messes around with …


Ben Platt Reveals His Secret to Staying Young

Written by: Isabelle Mckelvey

“Up next, I’m auditioning for the role of Annie,” said Ben Platt.Photo by Sharon Roth Actor Benjamin Plattypus, more commonly known as Ben Platt, has recently been …

Sunday Comics

Neck to see you -_-

Written by: Jerry Wu

By Jerry Wu


UC Regents Evacuates UCSD, Raccoon Insurgency Rises to Power

Written by: Adian Valdez

“One man’s trash is another man’s missile defense system,” said Drake.Photo by Sharon Roth Uncertainty and fear struck the hearts of the UCSD community as UC Regents …


Clown Costumes Moved to Sexy Section of Spirit Halloween

Written by: Robin Brewin

Clown Costumes Moved to Sexy Section of Spirit Halloween Sales of clown costumes were up last Halloween, but not for the reason one would expect. With …


Online Proxy Warrior Stuck in Infinite Loop

Written by: Andrew Sitko

“This guy is a moron,” said Pheer, responding to his own tweet.Photo by Yuri Bukhradze Kyle Pheer, an online proxy warrior, is reportedly stuck in an infinite …


Susan Bagel

Written by: Sharon Roth and Aniela Drumonde

Every Sunday evening, I made my beautiful family a scrumptious, rich lasagna. My husband, who slogged through hours of unpaid overtime late into the night with …


Worst Campus Jobs

Written by: The MQ