Volume 28 Issue 1

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Turns Class Selection Process Into a Gacha Game

Written by: Yuri Bukhradze

“It’s like this thing is rigged so that I don’t get what I want,” complained one student.Photo by Jack Yang In an effort to make the class …

Briefs

Pro Unreal Tournament Player Reflects on 9/11

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Pro Unreal Tournament Player Reflects on 9/11 Jerry Stern, former professional player of the Unreal Tournament titles, has reflected on the events that took place during …

Features

The MQ Commits the Perfect Crime

Written by: The MQ

STEPS FOR THE PERFECT CRIME Step 1. Wake up, fresh faced, ready to take on the morningStep 2. Put on a cute, but comfortable outfit!Step 3. …

ArticlesCampusLocalNews

San Diego Vaccination Site Incentivizes Vaccine with Barrels of Funfetti Frosting

Written by: Watthew Mare

“Getting vaccinated sure is addicting,” said Schmobby. “I’m already on my third card.”Photo by Robin Brewin With COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations on the rise, local governments …

Features

Alternative PowerPoint Presentations

Written by: The MQ

Bland, old, three-to-five page double-spaced essay got you down? Are PowerPoint slides swimming before your eyes, making you wonder why you’re doing this group presentation by yourself? Are you bored of slogging through page after page of your textbook, sifting through endless images and text for even one iota of information that will be on your exam?
Then look no further than these astonishing alternatives, guaranteed to stun your professors and peers!

ArticlesCampusLocalNews

Raccoon Cult Offers UCSD Students Secure Housing

Written by: Emily Cronan

Some students claim to have witnessed a demonic possession, but it was just a case of rabies.Photo by Maria Dhilla With over 50,000 admitted students and a …

Sunday Comics

Now Open for Buisness

Written by: Sharon Roth

By Sharon Roth

ArticlesLocalNewsTech

New Sticky Notes Sell Out After Gaining Massive Hype

Written by: Sharon Roth

One Typebeast said, “Damn, I sure hope this fad sticks.”Photo by Sharon Roth Ever since their launch in August, textured sticky notes have dominated the famously bloodthirsty …

Sunday Comics

Dear Evan Hansen, I’m Scared

Written by: Sharon Roth

By Sharon Roth