November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

Written by: Aniela Drumonde

Acronym Creator Missing in Action

Emmaline Young, Doctor of Philosophy, was recently reported Missing in Action as of Thursday, 10:39 ante meridiem. Last seen getting a large sum of money out of an Automated Teller Machine in El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora de los Ángeles, her disappearance has been linked to her work at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration — specifically, her keen insight on a special project involving Radio Detection and Ranging waves and reality shifting linguistics.

Young, known for her very high Intelligence Quotient, would have responded quickly to any calls headed her way, so it is very likely she was forcibly taken. Deoxyribonucleic Acid testing at the site of capture has concluded that a foreign Special Weapons and Tactics team was involved. A later message sent with a ransom request also included a Postscript threatening violence if the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Central Intelligence Agency, or National Security Agency attempted to find Young. Even so, a covert operation involving a suspicious amount of Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus gear was ordered immediately afterword broke through of Young’s disappearance. As Young remains Absent Without Leave, the whole situation seems Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.

EIC Elect at The MQ

Former Editor-in-Chief. Like an ouroboros, her jokes consume themselves until no one knows whether they were ever funny. But they are.

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