Local Student Is on Edge of Being on Edge

Bingus Bunggus has reported staring at the desktop of their computer for three days as their encroaching deadline for three video projects slowly rolls closer. “So I’m pretty on edge of being pretty on edge,” Bunggus stated. “I’m not stressed, but I also feel like I could have a heart attack when thinking about the stress I’d face if I started working. I’ve definitely thought about starting. I’ve definitely thought about thinking about starting, at least. I’ve opened Premiere and closed it. I’ve made a Google doc, left it untitled, and let it delete itself. I’ve opened Twitter and closed it immediately 40 times so that I could get back to work. I’ve ran three games of Apex and watched a Twitch stream to its entirety, but now that I’ve gotten my inattentiveness out, I can start to think about starting my stress mode. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a wallpaper to stare at and women to think about in their entirety, but especially their feet.”

Three days after the interview, Bunggus reportedly has “gotten more red and gained two more inches of dark rings under their eyes.”