Briefs

Briefs

Cabal Controlling Rotten Tomatoes Outed After “Black Adam” Release

Written by: Jacob King

Ahead of its premiere, Black Adam received a Rotten Tomatoes score of 52%. “I remember watching Man of Steel when I was eight years old. I’ve …

Briefs

Boris Johnson Reelected as U.K.’s Next Prime Minister, Resigns

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Former Prime Minister Liz Truss recently resigned after causing the current economic crises facing the U.K. and prompting the value of the pound to plummet. In …

Briefs

The Padres Blow It Again

Written by: Connor Betterly

Since the Chargers “abandoned” San Diego in 2017, the Padres are the only remaining major sports team in San Diego. The Padres did better than many …

Briefs

UC Regents To Begin Recycling Students

Written by: Sophie Pubb

In an effort to be more sustainable, the UC Regents have decided to start recycling students. “It’s really a no-brainer,” said UC President Michael Drake. “We’ve …

Briefs

Mobile Stationery Causes Confusion

Written by: Taggert Smith

Panic seized the student body last Monday, following an apparent violation of the laws of reality: the arrival of “Ms. Pell’s Mobile Stationery Store On Wheels” …

Briefs

Elon Musk Declares Himself “Techno-Emperor of the Universe”

Written by: Jacob King

Elon Musk Declares Himself “Techno-Emperor of the Universe” Musk made the announcement on Twitter this morning, where he also said that he has “already been forcing …

Briefs

British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III After the death of Queen Elizabeth II, citizens of the United Kingdom were concerned that they …

Briefs

Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail Every September, millions of people participate in fantasy football. For some, the joy comes from drafting their favorite …

Briefs

Cold Fusion Debate Gets Heated

Written by: Everett Ririe

Cold Fusion Debate Gets Heated Cold fusion, a hypothetical type of fusion occurring at room temperature as opposed to the temperature of the sun, is sought …

Briefs

San Francisco Giants Could Still Make the World Series

Written by: Theo Erickson

San Francisco Giants Could Still Make the World Series In his new book, Unknown Variables, theoretical physicist Dr. Jamie Close explains how the San Francisco Giants …