Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail

Every September, millions of people participate in fantasy football. For some, the joy comes from drafting their favorite players, or connecting with the NFL season. But for 10 friends in Northampton, their passion for fantasy football stems from the punishments doled out to the loser of the league each year.

“Three years ago, I lost thanks to my first pick, Le’Veon Bell,” said Franklin Yates. “I had to dye my hair neon pink, dress in a sequined speedo, and walk all over town. My photo was in the local newspaper. My wife wouldn’t speak to me for a week!”

Every year before the draft, the friends try to come up with more and more horrifying actions for the loser to do. This year, the league took the punishment too far.

“When I lost this year, I never imagined I’d spend a night in jail,” said Reginald Binnings. “I had to dance outside the mayor’s office with two witnesses recording me for my 15 minutes of fame. Unfortunately, the cops thought we were political protestors, so they blasted us with a water cannon and took us away for advanced interrogation. Once they realized we were red-blooded, football-loving Americans, they set us free. I wish next year’s loser good luck.”